Reflection gives me space for understanding. If I don't what to know, I become curious of this challenging feeling. Why? By expanding my understanding of a topic I am able to relate it to other information I carry with me. In finding some understanding I now have a choice. Choices are important. If a line of resistance is present, I ask myself what is making me feel a disconnect? Where do I feel discomfort? If I can identify where resistance is in my body and mind, I can use tools to sit with it. These tools depend varying on the situation, but by utilizing tools I can move through these lines of resistance. 
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Here are some tools I use when I feel a resistance:
Walking - this helps me move through problems by moving my body to new spaces
Writing - I am able to connect with feelings using language
Art - this often the most intuitive process and the most ambiguous way I approach understanding
Talking - I am able to see the resistance from another point of view
Yoga - similar to walking, I can move my body to find areas of resistance and accept new parts of my practice
Meditation - I use meditation as a "blank canvas" instead of filling the space, I sit with the "empty" space

What is the purpose of utilizing these tools?
By using tools I do not have to stay in a spiral, unless I choose to. If I choose to stay in a space of resistance, I then can sit with knowing it is my choice. If I feel resistance, I use a tool to help me understand and bring clarity. Clarity is important because it provides structure to understanding the deeper connective tissue of the resistance. If I can get to the source of resistance, then I can learn more about myself. What patterns do I want to continue? 

Today I am reflecting on the duality and contradiction of content. I have had artists tell me that I am speaking different languages through different mediums (the hand of the artist changes). I have also heard the exact opposite about my work (things flow and are in relation as I make through different mediums).

​So... this leads me to question, challenge, and find meaning through these opinions and conversations.

From reflecting on this I was also interested in how this relates to my understanding of my formerly interdisciplinary 'title' as an artist and in my practice. I have not felt drawn to one medium, I have always preferred to work through multiple mediums, typically combining their materials, concepts, and process. By learning through a variety of mediums I have been able to examine how I intertwine my art, practice, and lifestyle. I highly believe in you are your process/your art is your process.

What is an interdisciplinary artist/practice? 
www.widewalls.ch/magazine/interdisciplinary-artist
dgillart.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/define-your-discipline/
Above are the two articles I felt gave good working definitions of art disciplines (particularly interdisciplinary). In this research I found I do not relate to these definitions. I felt aligned with 'multi' and 'inter', but not 'discipline'. This led me to dig for a word in search of meaning to the practice that felt right for me. Discipline feels a bit limiting and filled with negative connotations, but my work feels liberating while I am making it. I thought about the word 'potential'. Potential is a word that is open, becoming, and thinking of things as moving forward. 

This led me to define myself as a multi/inter potentiality artist. My art, practice, and outlook are both many and between. I work with many conceptual ideas, materials, and 'outside' the art world influences which provide multiple perspectives and perceptions, which is extremely important to me. I also work with these same subjects between each other, I put more value in the between and becoming states rather than the start or destination. I believe the path, process, journey are more interesting than the final 'product'. ​

Art as a visual language for communication. I communicate using poetry, collage, research, process, experimentation, documentation, observation, and interdisciplinary approaches. The artist is an active participant in the translation of images, sensations, and feelings through the spirit to the physical 'reality'. One goal of the artist is for the audience to have an interaction with the artwork which would be similar to a conversation of language, but the artist has to be the translator. Artists cannot have complete control over what the message of translation is, although they can guide the way. How important is it for the audience to draw the lines of conclusion for themselves? How much information do they need? This is the job. A job, task, work ... is this the mundane part of being an artist or the exciting part? I prefer the audience to allow for their connections with the work. Each person has their lenses through which they see the world. ​

​Recently I have been reflecting on the Dynamic Harmony collection. During the making process, I was not interested in working with colors. I used a limited color palette because I wasn't sure what the message would be if I used color. This was later the catalyst for my exploration of color theory in my new collection. Previously I was not sure how to talk about my work or what I wanted to say, I only had the vision and a few words to describe what I was working towards. I feared explicitly describing what my work was about, this is why I chose ambiguity. I also wanted to make universally understood material. I aimed for my viewer to have a connection with the art piece even if it did not tie to a specific subject or experience. This is why I chose abstract, geometric shapes, and a few colors. My process enabled me to explore and challenge myself to create a complex, energetic, and rhythmic work. Parts of my creations were focused on finding a beat, something steady in the piece that could create a structure. After finding structure, I looked for moments of chaos to create where imagination was the main driving force. Once structure and chaos were set into the piece, I backed up from the composition to look at it as a whole. This process I describe as zooming in and out is similar to a telephoto lens. This step was crucial to me, I needed the ability to focus on small moments and find those moments to also be recreated when looking at the piece as a whole. Almost a fractal-like process. Once I found each of these mini-processes in my work I would deem it complete. My goal for the viewer was to feel a sense of satisfaction and calmness in my work. I would like the viewer to see these bits of chaos, stillness, and movement all working together in cohesion, similar to a song, book, play, or even possibly a metaphor for life. Another message in my work is located in the movement using repetition. In my experiences in life, I have found doors/windows/moments that not only are representative of a singular experience, but also a bigger picture. Similar to a lesson unlearned, going through the movements of the last one until you can break through into a different pattern of thought/experience. This is part of the driving force to be changing and integrating my new work differently from past work.

​I played with rearranging, cutting, gluing, and forming elements into different abstractions. I realized in this project that I don't like to solidify layers. I love change and movement. While working on Intension, Extension I started examining how I can use and change movement, layers, and dimensions. Intension, Extension is made from a combination of spray paint, vellum, paper, wood, and masonite. I worked with the concept of not finishing the piece to be in a border, but something other than a rectangle, square, or other shape but shapes on top of each other instead. I am working on how to look outside of the framing aspect. I aim for my audience to think about the relationship between elements, shapes, lines, and values. I used two different techniques from making one composition and cutting it into parts and making one piece its separate composition and then laying it on as a separate layer and consistently moving around pieces to find how I preferred the lines and shapes to work together.

I started with the idea of using layers to describe a space. I played with paper, vellum, paint, chalk, markers, ink. I explored basic elements like lines, shapes, and values to create more dimension while on a two-dimensional platform. I think about this with stress and how things can add up to become bigger problems. When you are looking closely everything can get confusing and look difficult, but stepping back and looking on the outside gets simpler. I think stress builds up in my life from my base (outside, easy shapes, basic things), and then it becomes harder to manage things because I will say yes to things I don't need to add to my plate without analyzing them, this is what makes things difficult. (inside, messy). I aim to find balance in my life which translates to my artwork. When I am on the inside of all the things making me feel stressed, it feels difficult, like I don't know which way to turn or how to handle anything. When I can step back and step outside of all those things, I realize that it is not that bad, it's not so hard, and I am not the only one dealing with stress. After stepping back I feel better and can control my emotions and just get everything done as it comes. ​